sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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