Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize