if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
