i already hear my dad disowning me
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
