You work out of a Hotel?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
