just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
