Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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