Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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