we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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