Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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