I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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