is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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