I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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