i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
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please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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