You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You're like the curious george of whores
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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