you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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