I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
