You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
