Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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