I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
