Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
