Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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