How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
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