I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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