i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
