I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
