Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
