peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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