Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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