he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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