there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
