I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
