he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
