i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
