So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
