He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
