just come out here and I will go home with you...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
