Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
