he referred to my room as the tit cave...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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