Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore