You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
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How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.