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• (301): View more from Maryland

  is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel

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  23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things

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• (407): View more from Florida

  A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke

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• (212): View more from New York

  You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines

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• (909): View more from California

  Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me

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  21 Rich People Confess The Best And Worst Things About Being Wealthy

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.

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• (408): View more from California

  I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary

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• (407): View more from Florida

  It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses

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