he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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