weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
