is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
