My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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