This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
