i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
