how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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