my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize