theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
