it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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