I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
