I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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