: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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