oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
this is an emotional support booty call
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
