why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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