Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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