Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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