It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
