Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
