During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
