Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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