last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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